Empowered: How are You?

Real connection begins when we slow down long enough to notice the people around us. This episode explores the power of making time for others, asking better questions, and listening with genuine intention. A few moments of sincere attention can create a lasting impact in someone's life.

Transcript

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Imagine walking through a busy shopping mall on a Saturday morning. The parking area is full, the food court areas are buzzing with children laughing and playing as they hold their parents' hands. Shoppers work their way through the crowds carrying bags from their favorite stores. Hundreds of people pass one another every hour. Some are smiling as they enjoy the day, others are rushing to their next appointment. A few seem completely lost in their thoughts. Every person has a destination, every face tells a story, and every heart carries something that cannot be seen. As you make your way through the crowd, you sometimes notice someone you know approaching from the opposite direction. They recognize you immediately, they smile warmly, and they ask the familiar question that has become part of everyday conversation. How are you doing? Without giving it much thought, you smile back and answer, I'm doing great. They nod, they reply, Oh, that's wonderful to hear, and they continue walking. Within seconds, that conversation is over. In less than 10 seconds, both people have continued with the day, never giving another thought to the exchange that has just taken place. I'm Sandra Elizabeth. Thank you for joining me on this podcast today. How are you doing? It happens thousands of times every day in every city around the world. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm fine. I can't complain. I'm doing just great. These words have become so familiar that we hardly notice them anymore. They are woven into our daily conversations. It's the same as hearing people just say, Love you, love you, love you, and it's now just become another habit and not something meaningful. So these hello, how are you lines simply fill the silence when people meet each other. It's really a polite introduction before moving on to more important matters. Most of the time they are simply greetings rather than genuine questions. But imagine this. For a moment a person bumped into you and said, Hello, how are you? And then suddenly they pause and look directly at you, then they gently ask a second question. No, how are you really doing? And suddenly everything changes. That conversation moves beyond social manners. It enters the hidden places of the heart. The polite smile is no longer enough. The automatic response begins to lose its meaning. For a little moment we are confronted with the person we truly are rather than the person we present to the world. How are you really doing? Are you genuinely at peace or have you simply become skilled at hiding your struggles? Are you living with joy and peace or are you merely surviving one day at a time? Has the disappointments of life quietly settled into you without even you noticing? Are you carrying wounds that have never fully healed? Or have you allowed yesterday's failures to define you today? These are not easy questions to answer because they require honesty. They require us to step beyond appearances and confront the condition of our hearts. It is so easy to just tell people that everything is fine instead of admitting that we are tired, disappointed, discouraged, or even afraid. We live in a culture that rewards looking successful, sounding confident, and appearing as though we have everything under control. Many people spend enormous amounts of energy managing their image. When you live with overconfidence, you focus on presenting an image. While the world is looking at appearances and image, God looks at the heart. While people are impressed by what they can see, God is interested in what nobody else can see. He sees the smile that hides the pain. He sees the confidence that hides the fear. He sees the person who appears to have everything together but is quietly falling apart on the inside. He sees the person who has lost hope but hasn't told anyone. He sees the person who lies awake at night wondering if tomorrow will be any better than today. And here's the beautiful thing about God. He doesn't love us less because he knows we're struggling. In fact, he moves closer to us. David prayed in Psalm 139, Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. You see, David understood something that many of us are still learning. We don't have to pretend with God because He already knows. Many of us live on autopilot. We wake up, we get dressed, we go to work, we come home, we eat dinner, watch television, scroll through our phones, go to bed, and then do the exact same thing the next day. Weeks become months, months become years. Life keeps moving, but we never stop long enough to ask ourselves, am I really living or am I simply existing? And there is a difference. Existing is just breathing. Living is having purpose. Existing is surviving another day. Living is waking up with hope. Existing is counting the hours. Living is making every hour count. And I think one of the greatest tragedies in life is not dying too soon. It's reaching the end of life and realizing that you've never truly lived. You were busy, you were responsible, you worked hard, you took care of everyone else. Somehow along the way, you forgot to take care of yourself. You cannot take care of others if you have not first taken care of yourself. So stop, make time, look at your own life and take care of yourself. I have personally met people who have very little by the world's standards, yet they have peace wherever they go. They don't have the biggest house, the best car, the newest car, or the highest paying job, but they have something many wealthy people never find. They have contentment. Then I've met people who appear to have everything successful careers, beautiful homes, expensive holidays, influence, recognition. But behind closed doors they are exhausted, anxious, and desperately searching for something that money can never buy. So stop and think. Maybe we measure success the wrong way. Maybe we're doing well isn't about what we own. Maybe it's about who we are becoming. Maybe being just great isn't about a perfect life. Your circumstances may not change overnight. Your challenges may still be there tomorrow morning. The phone call that you've been waiting for may still not come. The financial pressure that you have may not disappear this week. But something on the inside of you begins to change. Fear no longer has the final say. Discouragement no longer controls your thinking. Your hope begins to rise again, not because your situation has changed, but because your perspective has changed. And sometimes that's where the greatest miracle begins. And so imagine greeting someone and asking, How are you doing? Instead of the usual, I'm fine, they stopped for a moment, looked you in the eye, and said, Today has been difficult. It would probably catch us completely off guard because we have become so accustomed to automatic answers that we rarely expect honesty anymore. The truth is that we are living behind carefully constructed masks. They are not physical masks that people can see, but emotional ones that have been built over many years. Some wear the mask of confidence because they are afraid people will discover their insecurities. Others wear the mask of success because they don't want to know how hard they are struggling. Some wear the mask of happiness because they fear that if they show their pain they will become a burden to everyone. Have you ever smiled at someone while your mind was somewhere completely different? You were thinking about the bills that needed to be paid, the difficult conversation waiting for you at work, the family member who was ill, or the dream that seemed to be slipping further and further away. Outwardly you looked calm, but inwardly your thoughts were racing. Most of us have experienced moments like this. Robin Williams was known for making millions of people laugh. His energy was contagious. He appeared to be one of the happiest entertainers in the world. Yet behind the laughter he battled with personal struggles for many years. His story reminds us that a smile does not always tell the whole story. Someone can be the life of the party while carrying burdens that no one else can see. How many Robin Williams are walking around us every day? How many people are smiling and encouraging others and saying, hey, I'm fine, while silently hoping that someone will notice that they're not. When you look at an iceberg, you only see 10% which is visible above the water. The remaining 90% is hidden underneath the surface. And people are the same. You see the smile, you see the clothes, you see the career, you see the social media posts, but you don't see the grief, you don't see the anxiety, you don't see the financial pressure, you don't see the sleepless nights. Many people are living like icebergs. We judge the 10% that we can see while knowing nothing about the 90% hidden beneath their surface. I read a story about an elderly man at the grocery store. This elderly man visited the same grocery store almost every day. One cashier finally asked him why he came in so often when he only bought one item a day. He quietly replied, My wife died a few months ago. This is the only conversation I have all day. Think about that. He wasn't shopping, he was looking for human connection. Sometimes people don't need answers, sometimes they simply need someone to notice them. I want to ask you today, who have you asked how are you this week without really waiting for the answer? Who in your life always says, I'm fine? When was the last time you honestly answered that question yourself? If someone asked you today, how are you really doing, what would your answer be? Life is moving at a fast pace, the world is moving at lightning speed, phones are ringing, people are texting, someone is rushing over to meet the next deadline. But one of the greatest gifts that you can give another human being is your time. Time is the one thing you can never replace. Money can be earned again, opportunities may come back, possessions can be replaced, but once a moment has passed, it is gone forever. When you choose to spend time with someone, you are silently telling them you matter. People don't need you to solve their problems, they simply need someone that is willing to help them while they carry the weight. They need someone who will look them in the eye instead of at a phone screen. Someone who will ask, How are you really doing, and then remain quiet long enough to hear their honest answer. Listening has become one of the rarest skills in today's society. Most conversations are no longer conversations, they are competitions. While one person is speaking, the other is already preparing their response. We interrupt, we assume, we finish people's sentences, we rush to offer advice before fully understanding the story. We hear words, but we often fail to hear the heart behind those words. Listening is patience, it requires humility, it requires setting aside our own opinions long enough to enter someone else's world. Every person that you meet on a daily basis is carrying something that you know nothing about. The smiling cashier may be worried about paying their rent. The confident businessman may be terrified of losing everything. The cheerful mother at the playground may have cried herself to sleep the night before. You cannot always see another person's battle, but you can choose to become a safe place where they can lay down their burdens even if only for a few minutes. Your meaningful conversation of an extra two or three minutes can change the direction of a person's entire life. Many people can point to one teacher, one mentor, one friend, or even one stranger who simply listened when no one else would. They may not remember every word that was spoken, but they will certainly remember how they felt. They remember feeling seen, they remember feeling valued, they remember walking away with hope because someone cared enough to stop and listen. Our culture celebrates those who speak the loudest, those who walk around overconfident, those who brag about their lives. As human beings, we need to change that mentality. Being with someone in their pain may accomplish more than delivering a 30-minute speech filled with solutions. Your presence communicates passion, your listening communicates value. Today, think about people in your own life. Is there someone who has been trying to tell you something but you've been too busy to notice? Technology may have connected the world, but in many ways it has disconnected people. We can send hundreds of messages every day and still fail to have one meaningful conversation. We know what people posted online, but we don't know how they are truly feeling. We scroll past people's pain because we are too busy consuming content to notice the cry for help hidden between the lines. Making time for people requires intentionality. Choose to invest consistently in people. A quick phone call, a coffee meeting, a visit, a handwritten note, or even an unexpected message asking, I've been thinking about you, how are you? These simple gestures often have a greater impact than extravagant gifts because they communicate genuine care. So make time for people, put down the phone, delay the next task if necessary, ask another question, sit a little longer, listen a little deeper. The moments you spend genuinely connecting with others are never wasted. People want meaningful conversations. Nobody needs another greeting. People need someone that is genuinely interested in them. So starting today, replace that routine question with authentic curiosity. That small change can turn an ordinary encounter into a life-giving conversation. As I close today's episode, I want to leave you with one simple thought. People may not remember every conversation they have had this week, but they will remember how someone made them feel. Thank you for spending this time with me today. If today's conversation encouraged you, please share it with someone who may need to hear it. Together, let's build a world where people feel seen, valued, and heard. Until next time, remember your voice matters, your life has purpose, and every day is another opportunity to make a difference. Take care, and we'll meet at the next episode.